This is the day you hoped would never come. Your life roles are being reversed. You are attempting to make choices for yourself as well as your Aging Parent. What is best for them without substantially disrupting your life. How can you keep up the pace while pleasing everyone around you? You are not alone in life; you have a family, a significant other, and a job to consider. You want to strike a balance in order to keep everyone pleased and life as normal as possible. Consider again! Those once-a-week visits or daily phone conversations are no longer sufficient. Your parent need genuine attention.
The care involves making sure they eat, take their medications, and that their money isn’t frittered away on TV buying. You have siblings that believe Assisted Living or Nursing Facilities are horrible and don’t want to place their parents in one, even if they don’t want to assist. How do you deal with it? How can you handle this without alienating every member of your family?
First and foremost, recognize that it is not about you. That is to say, it is not about guilt or what others consider to be the “right thing to do.” It’s not about clinging to the person they used to be. They are a senior citizen who need continual care and attention. If you need to mature, this position will force you to do so whether you want to or not!
Begin with their doctor. Make an appointment to discuss your cherished parent’s deteriorating health. You may also look into the hospital with which they are affiliated. Every hospital has some kind of elder care group. The medical coverage will also be linked to elder sourcing. You and the doctor may be able to decide the sorts of assistance and living style your parents’ present situation necessitates. Continue to inquire until you find the greatest solution for everyone involved.
It might be as easy as an Aide coming once or twice a day to assist with bathing, clothing, meals, and medications. Their health may need more, and the visiting nurse or doctor’s office is the best location to express your concern. The most important word to learn to aid an elderly parent is the same as it would be to care for your young child: SAFETY. If safety is not at the required level, keep pressing until you receive the assistance you need. Continue to emphasize the importance of SAFETY.
It may take some time to discover everything available to your parent to assist with this care process, but trust me when I say it will be worth it in the many years elder care can last. Before that day occurs, it is essential to address with them all of their health and medical, financial, and personal issues.
You are the finest gift you can offer them when they are older. Spend quality time rather than worry time. Instead of dumping them on someone else, invite them over for a day and supper. If you do this alone, resentment builds, and there are many excellent care facilities available to relieve you of that burden.
Safety and honesty are what make those latter years memorable!